What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
