I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
