dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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