Are we in a gay sports bar?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
