I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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