Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
