the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
