WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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