dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
