please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
