Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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