sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
