In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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