So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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