pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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