Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
