So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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