I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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