Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
