bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
