I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
