if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
