I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
