Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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