super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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