you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
