Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
