I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
