My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
