You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
