Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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