tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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