I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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