It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
