drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
