at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
