So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
