I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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