I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
