If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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