I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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