I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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