Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
