yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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