do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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