I hate all girls vehemently.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
