gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
