By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
