i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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