Whod you bang
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
