well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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