why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize