Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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