My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's blow job season.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
