I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
