just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
