Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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