Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
