idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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