I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
